Simple Secrets of Parenting: Easy As ABC

• Jump for Joy: Children who are physically active have higher self-esteem, higher grade-point averages and are happier than couch-potato kids. Get your child moving-walking, swimming, biking, skating. Join in. It's a great way to bond.
  
  
• Find a Way to Excel: Excelling is the foundation on which your child builds self-esteem. At the earliest possible stage, help your child try different things and find a useful, positive skill at which he or she can excel.
  
  
• Model What You Want Your Child to Become: Many complex factors contribute to your child's behavior. Over the long haul, however, psychologically healthy parents tend to raise psychologically healthy children. Model what you want your child to become.
  
  
• Accept Your Child: Acceptance feels good. Children flourish when acceptance is offered. You can accept and love your child without loving his or her report card. Let your child know.
  
  
• Make a Big Deal: One of your child's basic needs is attention. If you make a big deal only when you catch your child doing something wrong, it's not difficult to figure out which behavior will be repeated.
  
  
• Just Do It: Behaving as if you care means doing something with your child. Your child won't believe you care unless you show you care. Just do it and see.
  
  
• Start a Journal: Feelings are incredibly powerful. At about the age of eight, children gain a natural fascination with writing and making lists. Encourage this fascination. Buy a special notebook and help your child start a journal to record feelings and events of the day.
  
  
• Answer Second, Understand First: Answering is easy. Understanding is hard. The next time your child asks for your attention, take time to really hear what is going on. Wait. Be quiet. Listen with empathy.
  
  
• Support and Encourage: Be a homework consultant, not a participant. Support and encourage, but help only when your child is truly "stuck," or needs a final check on a finished project.
  
  
• Negotiate and Compromise: Problem solving, negotiating and compromising are necessary skills. To teach your child to negotiate, begin with questions like, "If you have the biggest piece of cake you'll be happy, but how will your brother feel? How could I cut the cake so you both would be happy?"
  
  

Excerpted with permission of the Child Welfare League of America [CWLA] from Simple Secrets of Parenting: Easy as ABC by John Baucom © 1997 (available for $9.95 from CWLA. Call (800) 407-6273).