After the Adoption

Jesus and Andrea R. have five grown children, but they recently became new parents again, this time adopting the six children of Andrea's brother. "We adopted them because we wanted to make sure they stayed together as a family," Jesus explains.

Nevertheless, the commitment and the challenges were often overwhelming, as the children, who range in age from 7 to 13, struggled with everything from living in a small, overcrowded apartment, to difficulties at school, to the recent death of their beloved grandmother. Seeking help, the R.'s were referred to Casey Family Services in May 2000.

"Their grief over the death of their grandmother, who was actively involved in their upbringing, was interfering with progress in other areas of their lives," says Casey Social Worker Ivette Negron. "So we began by providing grief and loss counseling to help them cope with their intense feelings of sadness and anger." Through play therapy and creative activities-which included writing letters to their grandmother that were sent to heaven in balloons, and planting flowers at her grave site--the children found ways to honor her, express their feelings appropriately and strengthen their loving memories.

Casey family support specialists also provided counseling as the R.'s converted a two-family house, which they shared with the grandmother, into a larger one-family home--with room enough to meet everyone's need for comfort and privacy. With this important support, Andrea and Jesus were able to help reduce family tensions, improve behavior management and introduce structure in the home to accommodate homework and family activities.

Meanwhile, facing the school system created other challenges. Jesus and Andrea, who are more comfortable speaking Spanish, didn't know how to approach the school staff to help their children overcome academic problems.

"My Casey worker, Yvette, helped me by going to school with me and talking with the teachers and principal, because the kids were getting bad grades; she's there to back me up," Andrea explains.

With Casey's intervention, in fact, the school provided each child with psycho-educational evaluations and tutoring services after school and during the summer, to improve skills and growth potential. Perhaps most important, Casey helped to establish an ongoing dialogue, ensuring that the parents and school staff meet at least twice a year for each child, to review challenges, plans and progress. "They're doing better now," Andrea observes.

At the same time, Casey is providing counseling to help the children deal with feelings of anger, sadness and shame directed at their birth parents. This includes a careful attempt, if possible, at re-establishing a relationship between the children and their birth father and mother, an important part of the healing process. Individual psychological counseling is also being planned.

"Progress has been very good," says Social Worker Ivette Negron. "When we first got together I asked each child to draw a picture of the family. Most of them only showed their siblings, without parents. I recently asked them to do another drawing, and each one depicted a fully integrated family unit." Andrea is pleased as well. "The kids are happier," she says, "and we're doing things we never did before."

Back to top